Thursday, October 1, 2009

The bees knees.

You might wanna sit down for this one. Oh yeah, you're at your computer so you're already sitting!

My bad!

Tuesday afternoon I was meditating in Van Cortland Park in Riverdale. I had a great session with the sun on my face, and upon completion jumped over some rocks and just barely missed squashing two bees who were walking across the rocks.

Well, one was walking, the other was humping.
No, I'm not kidding, they were having sex, and I mean the male bee was GOING TO TOWN! The female was about three times as large as the male and walking around to and fro. The male was just humping his little ass off like there was no tomorrow. I mean there was no stopping this boy!

So I just watched in utter amazement and kicked myself for not bringing along my "Flip" camcorder to witness the blessed event with me, and to able to share it with the video watching world.

Unfortunately at this point the female seemed to walk herself a bit too close to an ant colony and the tiny little buggers began to attack the much larger bees.
The female didn't seem too impressed by this due in no small part to her tremendous size as compared to the ants. The male on the other hand was none too pleased that a small horde of ants were "nipping at his privates!"

This is where it got hysterical and where the lesson was learned by me. The male ant in his earnestness to copulate would give a kick,
and then a hump,
then another kick to dislodge the invaders,
and then another hump,
and a kick, and two humps, and another kick, and a hump and a half...
...and this went on for a very long time until the female and her paramour were simply out of range of the attacking horde.

This boy was not going to be stopped and no amount of pain, discouragement, or attacking hordes was going to separate him from, or allow him to fail to complete his task!

Now listen here guys 'cause this here be the gospel!

When you become as dedicated to sexually pleasing the woman you are with as that ant was, then I'll bet you have less problems with the ladies!
Oh yes, and they will walk through hordes of bugs for you too!

And I can't wait for the comments on this one!!!