This is beginning to confuse me. Every week, more and more men and women call me for my opinions, suggestions, attitudes on dating, and sometimes just because they want to vent.
Let me be clear, I have NEVER considered myself a dating coach. I do not consider myself a seminar leader, teacher, guru, or anything vaguely similar to anything like that. I am simply a Dating Workshop Facilitator, Creator, and Leader who asks great questions, gets people thinking the right way, and helps them to formulate their OWN brilliant answers through our amazing exercises and through discussions and interactions with their dating community.
So why have I been asked to submit a chapter to an ebook written by eight female international dating coaches?
And why do both men and women, from mid twenties to mid sixties call me regularly for my ear, and my coaching?
Why did one of those female dating coaches call me just to tell me how brilliant and on-target my “dating tips” were?
Hell if I know?
The only assumption that I can make is that people get Value from their interactions with me? And if that is the truth, if that is what is happening, and if that is even a remote possibility…
…then I am truly blessed to say that I am happy, I am complete, and I am dedicated to continue to add value to the lives of all those around me until the very last breath leaves my body…
…and even beyond that…
Spike
http://www.DeMistyfiedDating.com
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Saturday, December 10, 2011
The Men That Women have been Searching For
I have men in my life.
Not boys, not guys, not dudes, and not just friends. I have MEN in my life. The kind of men that our grandfathers were. The kind of men that The Duke, Jimmy Stewart and Brando and Clarke Gable were. Men to look up to, men to be admired, men with hearts and yes, men with FLAWS.
Men these days, mostly called boys, are men who cannot admit their flaws. They are men who hide behind guile and pride, hide behind money or fame, and hide behind women, or worse, abuse the privilege.
I do not have that sort of man in my life, and if one sneaks in, once they are around the men that I surround myself with, they morph, change, grow, emulate, and become more than they had been before.
Yes, I have MEN in my life, and I am proud to state that after three-plus years of being surrounded by these men, that I have become one of them, that I am a leader amongst leaders, and that the women of this nation should rejoice...
...because the tide is changing, and MEN are making a comeback!!!
And it's about damn time too...
Spike...
http://www.DeMistyfiedDating.com
Not boys, not guys, not dudes, and not just friends. I have MEN in my life. The kind of men that our grandfathers were. The kind of men that The Duke, Jimmy Stewart and Brando and Clarke Gable were. Men to look up to, men to be admired, men with hearts and yes, men with FLAWS.
Men these days, mostly called boys, are men who cannot admit their flaws. They are men who hide behind guile and pride, hide behind money or fame, and hide behind women, or worse, abuse the privilege.
I do not have that sort of man in my life, and if one sneaks in, once they are around the men that I surround myself with, they morph, change, grow, emulate, and become more than they had been before.
Yes, I have MEN in my life, and I am proud to state that after three-plus years of being surrounded by these men, that I have become one of them, that I am a leader amongst leaders, and that the women of this nation should rejoice...
...because the tide is changing, and MEN are making a comeback!!!
And it's about damn time too...
Spike...
http://www.DeMistyfiedDating.com
Monday, October 10, 2011
Geez, can you think before you share THAT with me?
I recently put the finishing touches on my ebook entitled "101 Free Online Dating Tips." Now the title will have to be changed since my staff has decided to make it available for eBay and Kindle, and only free on the DD site. Anyway, after reading all of my tips I realized that I've broken nearly all of them at some point over the past 10 years!
So I decided to examine under a microscope my past 2 dates, one last Friday evening and one yesterday with 2 very different types of women. I am not going into detail of the dates, just the multitude of mistakes, screw-ups, and innocent idiocy that the 3 of us heaped on each other.
So here are some of the things we did that you should NEVER do on a date, and more than likely not in a relationship, at least not until way down the road!
1) Never discuss your ex'es. This should be obvious to everyone. No woman (or man) wants to hear about all the other women (or men!) that you dated, even if the stories are positive ones. Concentrate on the person sitting in front of you, now, and forget that all the others even exist, for now!
2) If you have some cosmetic challenges (these women shared the following things about themselves; "my teeth need to be fixed," "I have no ass," "my hair normally looks worse than this," "I don't need to stand up straight for the photo because there's nothing there to pop out for the camera") you don't need to mention it to the guy (or girl). We kinda see it anyway but believe it or not it may not be as important to us as you may think. Allow us to discover how wonderful you are inside, before sharing all the things you feel are not wonderful on the outside.
3) I don't need to hear about all of your recent surgeries, how your son attempted to kill you with a knife, that if I grab your left arm you may attack me in response, or a multitude of other lovely first-date factoids. Relax folks. Sit back and be silly, funny, adorable, and perhaps (if the feelings warrant it) a bit affectionate. Everyone loves a hug and if you run into someone who does NOT, don't be surprised at the lack of future affection you get from them if it does (unfortunately) turn into a relationship.
Now don't get me wrong here, there were many wonderful things that happened on both dates including yesterday's date who came with 3 of her 4 sons to a huge outdoor-fundraiser I was attending for homeless children (www.walkforycs.org). Her kids were great and we all got along sweetly. Her youngest (11) spent a lot of time with me and is a great kid! Not your "normal" first date, but hey, what IS normal these days? We had FUN!
Sooooo, I guess I'm just babbling at this point. Just be kind to each other people, and fer cripes sake THINK before you open your mouth and put your foot into it!
Spike
http://www.DeMistyfiedDating.com
So I decided to examine under a microscope my past 2 dates, one last Friday evening and one yesterday with 2 very different types of women. I am not going into detail of the dates, just the multitude of mistakes, screw-ups, and innocent idiocy that the 3 of us heaped on each other.
So here are some of the things we did that you should NEVER do on a date, and more than likely not in a relationship, at least not until way down the road!
1) Never discuss your ex'es. This should be obvious to everyone. No woman (or man) wants to hear about all the other women (or men!) that you dated, even if the stories are positive ones. Concentrate on the person sitting in front of you, now, and forget that all the others even exist, for now!
2) If you have some cosmetic challenges (these women shared the following things about themselves; "my teeth need to be fixed," "I have no ass," "my hair normally looks worse than this," "I don't need to stand up straight for the photo because there's nothing there to pop out for the camera") you don't need to mention it to the guy (or girl). We kinda see it anyway but believe it or not it may not be as important to us as you may think. Allow us to discover how wonderful you are inside, before sharing all the things you feel are not wonderful on the outside.
3) I don't need to hear about all of your recent surgeries, how your son attempted to kill you with a knife, that if I grab your left arm you may attack me in response, or a multitude of other lovely first-date factoids. Relax folks. Sit back and be silly, funny, adorable, and perhaps (if the feelings warrant it) a bit affectionate. Everyone loves a hug and if you run into someone who does NOT, don't be surprised at the lack of future affection you get from them if it does (unfortunately) turn into a relationship.
Now don't get me wrong here, there were many wonderful things that happened on both dates including yesterday's date who came with 3 of her 4 sons to a huge outdoor-fundraiser I was attending for homeless children (www.walkforycs.org). Her kids were great and we all got along sweetly. Her youngest (11) spent a lot of time with me and is a great kid! Not your "normal" first date, but hey, what IS normal these days? We had FUN!
Sooooo, I guess I'm just babbling at this point. Just be kind to each other people, and fer cripes sake THINK before you open your mouth and put your foot into it!
Spike
http://www.DeMistyfiedDating.com
Friday, October 7, 2011
Be Open to Love.
Being open to love, especially when you have fear and trepidation around it is the surest way to become even more open. It is when you hide your love away and deny it to yourself and others that you become cynical, negative, and a magnet for all the things that you do NOT want to attract.
Indeed...
Meditate, spend some time alone reflecting. Be honest with yourself in what you want and what you do NOT want. And manifest every day the person that you dream of spending your life with, picture them clearly and see yourself being with them, doing things, shopping, running, MAKING LOVE, yes FANTASIZE totally and completely. Accept that you have already attracted this person and that you have only to walk around the corner, and there they are, smiling at you.
Hey, it could happen!!! It already has!
Spike
http://www.DeMistyfiedDating.com
Indeed...
Meditate, spend some time alone reflecting. Be honest with yourself in what you want and what you do NOT want. And manifest every day the person that you dream of spending your life with, picture them clearly and see yourself being with them, doing things, shopping, running, MAKING LOVE, yes FANTASIZE totally and completely. Accept that you have already attracted this person and that you have only to walk around the corner, and there they are, smiling at you.
Hey, it could happen!!! It already has!
Spike
http://www.DeMistyfiedDating.com
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Hurricanes, football, and lessons 101.
So we survived Hurricane Irene here in New York. It was windy and rainy and muggy and I discovered something that I already knew, that nature is amazingly beautiful. And I didn't ride it out alone; no not alone at all. I had two of my closest friends here with me, guy friends, men that I admire and who admire me. Men that I would take a bullet for.
So we shopped and cooked and ate and played football in the rain and taped windows and hung plywood and 2X4's and watched movies and did guy stuff all weekend long. We had meetings about our lives and deep discussions and bonded.
We ate all my munchies and I got a ton of work done on my workshop.
And we did something else too,
we fought,
we sniped,
we got pissy-assed and did not always show each other the love and respect that we all know that we feel for one another.
And therein lies the challenge for men and women.
If 3 men who are best friends can't get along well for a mere 48 hours cooped up together, what chance do men and women have who are trying to be together, to build a life together, and to love one another unconditionally?
Y'see as men, and powerful, confident men at that, we clean up very quickly when we have a disagreement and move on to more important things.
But when men and women fight we sometimes tend to fight dirty, bring up the past. Sometimes men will lose it and scare their women into submission. Sometimes women will lose it and guilt their men into shameful feelings about themselves.
Mature, masculine men will not engage their women in battle, but women similarly need to learn when to settle down and allow their men to "go to their cave" until they are of a mindset to discuss, and not fight, often about something quite silly.
Loving someone for life is probably one of the most difficult things a person can do, yet nothing is more valuable, more fulfilling, or more important than love.
All you need is love.
I heard that somewhere.
Thanks John.
Spike
http://www.DeMistyfiedDating.com
So we shopped and cooked and ate and played football in the rain and taped windows and hung plywood and 2X4's and watched movies and did guy stuff all weekend long. We had meetings about our lives and deep discussions and bonded.
We ate all my munchies and I got a ton of work done on my workshop.
And we did something else too,
we fought,
we sniped,
we got pissy-assed and did not always show each other the love and respect that we all know that we feel for one another.
And therein lies the challenge for men and women.
If 3 men who are best friends can't get along well for a mere 48 hours cooped up together, what chance do men and women have who are trying to be together, to build a life together, and to love one another unconditionally?
Y'see as men, and powerful, confident men at that, we clean up very quickly when we have a disagreement and move on to more important things.
But when men and women fight we sometimes tend to fight dirty, bring up the past. Sometimes men will lose it and scare their women into submission. Sometimes women will lose it and guilt their men into shameful feelings about themselves.
Mature, masculine men will not engage their women in battle, but women similarly need to learn when to settle down and allow their men to "go to their cave" until they are of a mindset to discuss, and not fight, often about something quite silly.
Loving someone for life is probably one of the most difficult things a person can do, yet nothing is more valuable, more fulfilling, or more important than love.
All you need is love.
I heard that somewhere.
Thanks John.
Spike
http://www.DeMistyfiedDating.com
Saturday, July 23, 2011
The Love You Carry; Guest Post from Kim Garrett
Kim Garrett
*
The Love You Carry
No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it."-- Albert Einstein
When you are ‘fifty something’ and dating online ageism is in your face. And with an onslaught of ads proclaiming “ We love older women” it feels both courageous and ironic that I would start this blog. But here’s what I have finally taken to heart : I am the indisputable, fathomable force that propels Cupid’s quiver and directs it to it’s mark. And even more exquisite, the mark is ME. Could I have comprehended this in my twenties ? Ha. Of course not.; but that’s another chapter, closer to the beginning ... My thirties were grounded in marriage and f a m i l y. My forties were G Force; career firm, at home in my community, wiser and, well ... Beautiful. And I was finally, really feeling it.
I was born in the fifties ... Which, from my brand new perspective was the beginning of the divorce epidemic. It seemed that the era that created ‘baby boomers’ twisted and reversed on itself in my formative years and left a vacuum , void of paradigms. Fifty years later I found myself divorced with little more explanation than he had stayed with me for 20 years because he wanted to do the right thing. With three beautiful children who coped poorer with my attempts to reconstruct the blissful caricature of family life than I could have ever imagined, I came to accept that you can not fake ANYTHING in your fifties ... Thank God.
So I’ve been reading online profiles for four years now, wondering what it is that I will find, curious what others will find in mine. I want them to find something. They want me to find something. We want to find each something in each other. We put time into thoughtfully written profiles that aim to present our best, synthesizing and distilling our qualities (and photos that can only convey so much) and the final product is sometimes suspect, often dubious, and mostly ineffectual if you’re looking for the extraordinary.
I’ve discovered that the fifth decade is extraordinary in and of itself; that the divorce that I thought would surely undo me did not. Or more apt: my undoing was my ultimate doing ... Maybe feeling so intolerably alone with no pictures of the future created the space for new consciousness to fill.
Last week I learned that my life is going to be blessed with a grand-daughter. If I were to get biologically technical for a moment I would point out the possibly profound idea that I carried her in my own womb once, in her mother’s eggs ... But the real point I’m making is that it has affirmed something so big that it has compelled me to take on the whole dating dilemma!
Grandma has a dating profile. Grandma has had scores of promising dates with men who were discouragingly looking for the forty something powerhouse that she now refers to as mere gestation ... So what will Grandma impart to her darling poppy seed ? Be your (wonderful) SELF. Stay your (wonderful) SELF. What right do you have to be anything less ? If you discover you are becoming something less turn around and return to yourself immediately. This is Love. It is the Love you carry, the Love that is your very beckon. This is how all other Love finds you.
I once heard a dating professional insist that women be the target, not the archer. Tough advice in the modern world of dating where many, perhaps most insist that men want women to be bolder about what they desire. In this light and that of my Madrone’s status I conclude that the Love we carry is the bull’s eye.
http://www.DeMistyfiedDating.com
*
The Love You Carry
No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it."-- Albert Einstein
When you are ‘fifty something’ and dating online ageism is in your face. And with an onslaught of ads proclaiming “ We love older women” it feels both courageous and ironic that I would start this blog. But here’s what I have finally taken to heart : I am the indisputable, fathomable force that propels Cupid’s quiver and directs it to it’s mark. And even more exquisite, the mark is ME. Could I have comprehended this in my twenties ? Ha. Of course not.; but that’s another chapter, closer to the beginning ... My thirties were grounded in marriage and f a m i l y. My forties were G Force; career firm, at home in my community, wiser and, well ... Beautiful. And I was finally, really feeling it.
I was born in the fifties ... Which, from my brand new perspective was the beginning of the divorce epidemic. It seemed that the era that created ‘baby boomers’ twisted and reversed on itself in my formative years and left a vacuum , void of paradigms. Fifty years later I found myself divorced with little more explanation than he had stayed with me for 20 years because he wanted to do the right thing. With three beautiful children who coped poorer with my attempts to reconstruct the blissful caricature of family life than I could have ever imagined, I came to accept that you can not fake ANYTHING in your fifties ... Thank God.
So I’ve been reading online profiles for four years now, wondering what it is that I will find, curious what others will find in mine. I want them to find something. They want me to find something. We want to find each something in each other. We put time into thoughtfully written profiles that aim to present our best, synthesizing and distilling our qualities (and photos that can only convey so much) and the final product is sometimes suspect, often dubious, and mostly ineffectual if you’re looking for the extraordinary.
I’ve discovered that the fifth decade is extraordinary in and of itself; that the divorce that I thought would surely undo me did not. Or more apt: my undoing was my ultimate doing ... Maybe feeling so intolerably alone with no pictures of the future created the space for new consciousness to fill.
Last week I learned that my life is going to be blessed with a grand-daughter. If I were to get biologically technical for a moment I would point out the possibly profound idea that I carried her in my own womb once, in her mother’s eggs ... But the real point I’m making is that it has affirmed something so big that it has compelled me to take on the whole dating dilemma!
Grandma has a dating profile. Grandma has had scores of promising dates with men who were discouragingly looking for the forty something powerhouse that she now refers to as mere gestation ... So what will Grandma impart to her darling poppy seed ? Be your (wonderful) SELF. Stay your (wonderful) SELF. What right do you have to be anything less ? If you discover you are becoming something less turn around and return to yourself immediately. This is Love. It is the Love you carry, the Love that is your very beckon. This is how all other Love finds you.
I once heard a dating professional insist that women be the target, not the archer. Tough advice in the modern world of dating where many, perhaps most insist that men want women to be bolder about what they desire. In this light and that of my Madrone’s status I conclude that the Love we carry is the bull’s eye.
http://www.DeMistyfiedDating.com
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Getting my toes wet
I had a date tonight.
I haven’t had a date in a year because I was in love with a wonderful woman.
A week ago today I broke it off and she’s pretty damn angry with me.
So why you might ask would I break it off with a woman I love? Suffice to say that we were poison for one another, that we brought out the worst in one another, that we were holding each other back and moreso- I never felt that she was vested fully in me. I have tons of evidence, but this is a blog, not a bitch-fest.
So I had a date. I took my date out to New York City and we grabbed a quick bite, went to Washington Square Park and sat in the fountain getting sprayed and all wet together, and ended up at The Village Lantern to see my friend Guy’s Band-Stellar Ego (they are Fabulous!).
There were tons of my friends there, male and female, many of whom had met this woman I had just left and not knowing this new woman at all. But this new one was friendly, outgoing, smart, spiritual and deep (a third level Reiki Healer) and very, very affectionate towards me. My friends liked her very much and she liked them as well.
Soooo, what’s my problem?
No-one asked about this woman that I loved; why she wasn’t there and who this new one is? Everyone just assumed that the smile on my face was real and that I must have moved on, and they were happy for me because I have amazing friends who give a shit.
I am not happy. I am not happy in the knowing that somewhere in New Jersey is a woman who cries for me, cries that she is not in my arms and laughing, cries because she feels deeply (another Reiki Healer and lots more) that we are meant to be together for life.
I am not happy because I miss this woman deeply, miss her smile, miss her arms wrapped around me, miss her laughter and miss her “Ooooooohhhhh Goddd Daviiiiiddddddd” when we, well, you know…
I left the bar with this woman, put her on her train, gave her one quick kiss on the lips, smiled, and left. If I had asked she would have gladly taken me home with her. I’m just not ready for anyone else in that way right now.
So I have a question for you. Have you ever done something difficult, something that you knew was the right thing to do but hurt like Hell to do it?
Well, I’m doing it right now.
Sometimes it fucking sucks to be right……………………….
And I have another date tomorrow night…………………
Film at Eleven, yo.
Oz (Spike)
http://www.DeMistyfiedDating.com
I haven’t had a date in a year because I was in love with a wonderful woman.
A week ago today I broke it off and she’s pretty damn angry with me.
So why you might ask would I break it off with a woman I love? Suffice to say that we were poison for one another, that we brought out the worst in one another, that we were holding each other back and moreso- I never felt that she was vested fully in me. I have tons of evidence, but this is a blog, not a bitch-fest.
So I had a date. I took my date out to New York City and we grabbed a quick bite, went to Washington Square Park and sat in the fountain getting sprayed and all wet together, and ended up at The Village Lantern to see my friend Guy’s Band-Stellar Ego (they are Fabulous!).
There were tons of my friends there, male and female, many of whom had met this woman I had just left and not knowing this new woman at all. But this new one was friendly, outgoing, smart, spiritual and deep (a third level Reiki Healer) and very, very affectionate towards me. My friends liked her very much and she liked them as well.
Soooo, what’s my problem?
No-one asked about this woman that I loved; why she wasn’t there and who this new one is? Everyone just assumed that the smile on my face was real and that I must have moved on, and they were happy for me because I have amazing friends who give a shit.
I am not happy. I am not happy in the knowing that somewhere in New Jersey is a woman who cries for me, cries that she is not in my arms and laughing, cries because she feels deeply (another Reiki Healer and lots more) that we are meant to be together for life.
I am not happy because I miss this woman deeply, miss her smile, miss her arms wrapped around me, miss her laughter and miss her “Ooooooohhhhh Goddd Daviiiiiddddddd” when we, well, you know…
I left the bar with this woman, put her on her train, gave her one quick kiss on the lips, smiled, and left. If I had asked she would have gladly taken me home with her. I’m just not ready for anyone else in that way right now.
So I have a question for you. Have you ever done something difficult, something that you knew was the right thing to do but hurt like Hell to do it?
Well, I’m doing it right now.
Sometimes it fucking sucks to be right……………………….
And I have another date tomorrow night…………………
Film at Eleven, yo.
Oz (Spike)
http://www.DeMistyfiedDating.com
Sunday, July 10, 2011
A Concrete Wall. A Waterfall. A love story.
Once upon a time there was a lovely concrete wall. It was well designed, but through the years you could see the wear and tear had diminished it’s vibrancy a bit. So the powers that be decided to paint a lovely, realistic waterfall on the concrete wall for all to see.
Many would come to admire this lovely waterfall, and in particular one man. This man would sit and admire the waterfall and would speak to the wall and tell the wall of his admiration. The wall would become very excited when she sensed that the man was coming to visit and tried desperately hard to pretty up the paint and mortar whenever she knew he’d be coming. The man noticed this and was glad, however one day he let slip hurtful words about the wall and that she was not an actual waterfall at all, and he wished that she could somehow be different. The wall was deeply hurt by these words and decided that she would not allow the man to hurt her again so she reinforced her concrete and prepared for the worst.
Over time, the man came to love the waterfall and expressed it to the wall as often as he could. The man began to see the waterfall as an actual waterfall and not a concrete wall and shared this with her, often. But the wall would not listen or believe, for after all it was just a concrete wall.
One day after many months of sharing time together, the man came to visit his waterfall in a driving rain-storm. He explained to the wall that he saw all the beauty in her and that she was in reality an actual waterfall; after all, the proof was there for all to see.
The wall began to believe the man, that she was an actual waterfall and was very happy and at peace. But after the man had left and the sun came out, the rain stopped and the wall became dry again. She began to doubt the words the man had spoken, doubted his adoration, doubted his love, and doubted even that she was a beautiful waterfall.
The man returned the following day, but the wall was silent and non-responsive. She would not speak to the man or be waterfall-ish because she looked at what she perceived to be the facts, and thought that he had lied to her. The man was very hurt, yet still remained and attempted conversation, to no avail.
The man continued to visit for many weeks until one day in another horrific rainstorm he exclaimed “see, I told you that you are a waterfall!” and she began to believe again. The rainstorm lasted for several days and the waterfall was overflowing with joy because she knew that the man really loved her and that they would be together forever. She knew that there were differences and challenges but also knew that they would work on them, together, and be happy in their love.
Alas, in the morning the sun came out and dried away the rain, dried the wall back to just a wall and when the man came to visit, the waterfall would not flow, the wall was silent, and the man was sad yet again. The man thought sadly to himself about this because in his heart he knew she was just a concrete wall, but it had stopped mattering long ago as his love was so deeply felt for his waterfall.
The man made several more attempts to love the concrete wall, despite being coached not to by all who cared for him. He even bought paint to help fix some areas that had faded a bit, but the wall even took that as a slight and went further within, away from the man’s love.
Several more times down through the months there would be rainstorms and the man would rush to his waterfall, only to find that she would pull further away every time he attempted to get close. The man became complacent that it would always be this way and now expected that, despite his best efforts, the wall would simply ignore him, listening to the inner voices that damaged their chances to be together. She would no longer communicate with the man and so, the man walked away.
One day when walking by the wall on his way to work, the man felt a drop of water on his cheek. There was no rain in the sky, so the man decided that the waterfall was now attempting to actually BE a waterfall and not a wall at all! The waterfall resumed communication with the man and for a time things seemed normal, (as normal as things can seem between a concrete wall and a man, that is!) yet every time the man visited the wall, he had to wait. The waterfall had received a new coat of paint and all passing admired the new vista. The man however had loved the old vista and did not understand why the wall needed to change. The man continued to visit, but the waits became longer and longer and on occasion the wall just didn’t have time to see the man at all.
The man began to doubt the love that the waterfall professed to have for him. He discussed this when he occasionally could visit with her and she would continue to tell him that she loved him, but he did not feel it from her anymore. He no longer told the wall that he loved her because he sensed that she was pulling away and that she now desired another wall, or perhaps waterfall, and not a man like him at all.
The delays became overwhelming to the man, yet despite this he decided that it was just part of who the wall was and that he would accept that as part of his growth in their relationship. The wall seemed surprised, even upset that the man no longer minded the delays and did not get upset over them. The man waited and the delays continued on into the day, into the evening, and yet still the man waited, patiently. The wall could not handle this new direction from the man and shut down her communication with him yet again. Despite his best efforts the wall would not talk to the man and so, the man walked away for the final time.
Later that day there was a terrible accident and the wall was damaged. She did not reach out to the man from fear of how he would react, not realizing that he had already decided to move on. The wall made a slight effort to contact the man in a manner that he had asked her not to on multiple occasions. Despite this, the man attempted to contact the wall several times, to no avail. He was worried but she simply would not talk to him and it was not even clear in her message what really happened.
The man left her a final message that despite his love, and hers, that they were just too different to have any sort of relationship. Their relationship was one not based in reality, toxic and not healthy, guilt ridden and not based on mutual respect and trust. And although the man still loved his waterfall, he knew that she no longer had any ear to listen to his love and allow him to share and receive his gifts.
The man shed one final tear and hoped that his beautiful, shining waterfall would heal, be grateful for all she has, know that the man did love her with all his heart, and only remember the good that they shared. The man hoped that she would remember that she is indeed a beautiful, life-giving and flowing waterfall and not a concrete wall at all.
The man will always love and miss his waterfall.
Spike
http://www.DeMistyfiedDating.com
Many would come to admire this lovely waterfall, and in particular one man. This man would sit and admire the waterfall and would speak to the wall and tell the wall of his admiration. The wall would become very excited when she sensed that the man was coming to visit and tried desperately hard to pretty up the paint and mortar whenever she knew he’d be coming. The man noticed this and was glad, however one day he let slip hurtful words about the wall and that she was not an actual waterfall at all, and he wished that she could somehow be different. The wall was deeply hurt by these words and decided that she would not allow the man to hurt her again so she reinforced her concrete and prepared for the worst.
Over time, the man came to love the waterfall and expressed it to the wall as often as he could. The man began to see the waterfall as an actual waterfall and not a concrete wall and shared this with her, often. But the wall would not listen or believe, for after all it was just a concrete wall.
One day after many months of sharing time together, the man came to visit his waterfall in a driving rain-storm. He explained to the wall that he saw all the beauty in her and that she was in reality an actual waterfall; after all, the proof was there for all to see.
The wall began to believe the man, that she was an actual waterfall and was very happy and at peace. But after the man had left and the sun came out, the rain stopped and the wall became dry again. She began to doubt the words the man had spoken, doubted his adoration, doubted his love, and doubted even that she was a beautiful waterfall.
The man returned the following day, but the wall was silent and non-responsive. She would not speak to the man or be waterfall-ish because she looked at what she perceived to be the facts, and thought that he had lied to her. The man was very hurt, yet still remained and attempted conversation, to no avail.
The man continued to visit for many weeks until one day in another horrific rainstorm he exclaimed “see, I told you that you are a waterfall!” and she began to believe again. The rainstorm lasted for several days and the waterfall was overflowing with joy because she knew that the man really loved her and that they would be together forever. She knew that there were differences and challenges but also knew that they would work on them, together, and be happy in their love.
Alas, in the morning the sun came out and dried away the rain, dried the wall back to just a wall and when the man came to visit, the waterfall would not flow, the wall was silent, and the man was sad yet again. The man thought sadly to himself about this because in his heart he knew she was just a concrete wall, but it had stopped mattering long ago as his love was so deeply felt for his waterfall.
The man made several more attempts to love the concrete wall, despite being coached not to by all who cared for him. He even bought paint to help fix some areas that had faded a bit, but the wall even took that as a slight and went further within, away from the man’s love.
Several more times down through the months there would be rainstorms and the man would rush to his waterfall, only to find that she would pull further away every time he attempted to get close. The man became complacent that it would always be this way and now expected that, despite his best efforts, the wall would simply ignore him, listening to the inner voices that damaged their chances to be together. She would no longer communicate with the man and so, the man walked away.
One day when walking by the wall on his way to work, the man felt a drop of water on his cheek. There was no rain in the sky, so the man decided that the waterfall was now attempting to actually BE a waterfall and not a wall at all! The waterfall resumed communication with the man and for a time things seemed normal, (as normal as things can seem between a concrete wall and a man, that is!) yet every time the man visited the wall, he had to wait. The waterfall had received a new coat of paint and all passing admired the new vista. The man however had loved the old vista and did not understand why the wall needed to change. The man continued to visit, but the waits became longer and longer and on occasion the wall just didn’t have time to see the man at all.
The man began to doubt the love that the waterfall professed to have for him. He discussed this when he occasionally could visit with her and she would continue to tell him that she loved him, but he did not feel it from her anymore. He no longer told the wall that he loved her because he sensed that she was pulling away and that she now desired another wall, or perhaps waterfall, and not a man like him at all.
The delays became overwhelming to the man, yet despite this he decided that it was just part of who the wall was and that he would accept that as part of his growth in their relationship. The wall seemed surprised, even upset that the man no longer minded the delays and did not get upset over them. The man waited and the delays continued on into the day, into the evening, and yet still the man waited, patiently. The wall could not handle this new direction from the man and shut down her communication with him yet again. Despite his best efforts the wall would not talk to the man and so, the man walked away for the final time.
Later that day there was a terrible accident and the wall was damaged. She did not reach out to the man from fear of how he would react, not realizing that he had already decided to move on. The wall made a slight effort to contact the man in a manner that he had asked her not to on multiple occasions. Despite this, the man attempted to contact the wall several times, to no avail. He was worried but she simply would not talk to him and it was not even clear in her message what really happened.
The man left her a final message that despite his love, and hers, that they were just too different to have any sort of relationship. Their relationship was one not based in reality, toxic and not healthy, guilt ridden and not based on mutual respect and trust. And although the man still loved his waterfall, he knew that she no longer had any ear to listen to his love and allow him to share and receive his gifts.
The man shed one final tear and hoped that his beautiful, shining waterfall would heal, be grateful for all she has, know that the man did love her with all his heart, and only remember the good that they shared. The man hoped that she would remember that she is indeed a beautiful, life-giving and flowing waterfall and not a concrete wall at all.
The man will always love and miss his waterfall.
Spike
http://www.DeMistyfiedDating.com
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Coby
One Slightly Used Boyfriend, Blog; Part 4.
I run every morning, well except for Tuesday mornings due to a late night meeting. And by the time my run and workout are complete the dog-walkers are out in full force.
Well yesterday morning was no exception and as sure as rain there was Coby, my buddy, the Yorkshire Terrier puppy who has bonded with me like no other dog.
Coby has a tiny body but has the heart of a pit bull. His master saw me and said "Coby, who's that?"
And then Coby saw me from about 100 feet away and literally dragged his much larger walker to me in a frenzy. Normally Coby will jump right onto me, licking my face, biting my nose, and pulling at anything (usually my sweat towel) from my fingers to play with. But today would be different as Coby decided he needed a belly rub and I was just the guy to do it!
"Dude, why do you write about dogs so much?"
Because dogs are the source of unconditional love, and puppies especially. I have often had the thought that if people would treat each other like dogs treat each other, especially when first meeting (can you imagine all the butt sniffing?) that everyone would be related and society would move at a much more calm pace.
I dated a woman about 3 1/2 years ago who had a great desire to fly into the arms of the man she loved. So as I picked her up from the airport, in a blinding rainstorm, I stepped out of my car, braced myself, and from about 50 feet away she knew exactly what I was doing.
She dropped her bags, ran as fast as she could and as she got to the curb became airborne, flying about five feet directly into my arms and wrapping her legs around my waist, her hands around my neck, and her heart beating very fast.
I damn near fell on my ass but somehow didn't.
This was serving the needs of a woman I cared for and making one small dream come true for her. We didn't last too long but I can assure you that every man she dates hence will be measured to that standard.
I know, I'm meandering, but the point that I'm attempting to make is that when we put our mate first, when we treat each other like someone who matters, when we show the excitement, the glow, and the love of a puppy for a friend, then, then shall we be able to keep the people who matter the most to us.
Spike
http://www.DeMistyfiedDating.com
I run every morning, well except for Tuesday mornings due to a late night meeting. And by the time my run and workout are complete the dog-walkers are out in full force.
Well yesterday morning was no exception and as sure as rain there was Coby, my buddy, the Yorkshire Terrier puppy who has bonded with me like no other dog.
Coby has a tiny body but has the heart of a pit bull. His master saw me and said "Coby, who's that?"
And then Coby saw me from about 100 feet away and literally dragged his much larger walker to me in a frenzy. Normally Coby will jump right onto me, licking my face, biting my nose, and pulling at anything (usually my sweat towel) from my fingers to play with. But today would be different as Coby decided he needed a belly rub and I was just the guy to do it!
"Dude, why do you write about dogs so much?"
Because dogs are the source of unconditional love, and puppies especially. I have often had the thought that if people would treat each other like dogs treat each other, especially when first meeting (can you imagine all the butt sniffing?) that everyone would be related and society would move at a much more calm pace.
I dated a woman about 3 1/2 years ago who had a great desire to fly into the arms of the man she loved. So as I picked her up from the airport, in a blinding rainstorm, I stepped out of my car, braced myself, and from about 50 feet away she knew exactly what I was doing.
She dropped her bags, ran as fast as she could and as she got to the curb became airborne, flying about five feet directly into my arms and wrapping her legs around my waist, her hands around my neck, and her heart beating very fast.
I damn near fell on my ass but somehow didn't.
This was serving the needs of a woman I cared for and making one small dream come true for her. We didn't last too long but I can assure you that every man she dates hence will be measured to that standard.
I know, I'm meandering, but the point that I'm attempting to make is that when we put our mate first, when we treat each other like someone who matters, when we show the excitement, the glow, and the love of a puppy for a friend, then, then shall we be able to keep the people who matter the most to us.
Spike
http://www.DeMistyfiedDating.com
Monday, June 13, 2011
How have we failed one another?
One Slightly Used Boyfriend, Blog: part 3.
Really, do men and women train each other correctly?
Do we fight fair?
Do we discuss openly and honestly without causing guilt and blame?
Do we stay in the present and look only to the future?
Do we always put the other person first, making them feel special and cared for?
Do we expect the best from our mate on not assume the worst?
Yeah, in a perfect world, we would.
I can remember having an online conversation with a woman on a dating site, perhaps 9 or 10 years ago. After several not-so-nice back-and-forths she exclaimed "you have been trained very poorly by the women in your life."
I never forgot that statement and have been researching, workshop-ing, seminar-ing, and men's-group-ing ever since.
Y'see we're taught only the most rudimentary skills in school, and (these days) even if you are lucky enough to be in a 2 parent household (I was not one of the lucky ones) the social skills that our grandparents innately knew, just don't seem to be present anymore.
Tony and I have interviewed thousands of men and women between us, coached programs, ran the Dating DeMistyfied Workshop, and basically we're both still clueless!
Okay, so maybe not clueless. We know what most women "say" that they want and we know that what they want can change in a heartbeat.
We also know that most men are visual first, but that a killer personality and a great sense of humor will suck us in almost as well.
Hey, who doesn't wanna laugh, right?
We know that almost everyone, men and women alike, want to feel loved, safe, cared for, and want to be able to love deeply and fully knowing that their partner has their back, no matter what comes down the pike.
So what's the answer?
Where do you go to actually learn how to listen, how to engage without battle, how to love and be loved and how to become a supportive partner who brings value to any relationship?
I'm glad you asked me that!
There are many places both men and women can go to receive support in becoming amazing human beings and partners.
First, for men there is MDI (Mens Division International) "Causing greatness by mentoring men to live their lives with excellence as mature masculine leaders who create great families, careers, and communities. We are unconditionally committed to men winning." (www.mdisuccess.com). This organization, the concepts taught on the men's teams, and the hundreds of men I now call brothers, have shifted who I am, and literally saved my life.
For women there is The Family of Women. "We lead, inspire and mentor women to embrace their power, purpose and value, and to take responsibility for their relationships. We empower women to live the lives they love, igniting their passion to make a positive contribution in the world." (http://familyofwomen.org/) I have met many of the women in this organization and I can only say that they are all outstanding human beings.
Both organizations were birthed, and grew out of the concepts taught by Justin Sterling who runs a women's weekend and a men's weekend and has been doing so for a very, very, very long time. (http://www.sterling-institute.com/) Although I don't personally agree with every concept Justin teaches, he is spot-on with most everything else. The man is a wizard!
For both men and women there is of course Landmark Education where amongst other things you learn that "there and many things that you don't know that you don't know." (http://www.landmarkeducation.com/) The courses taught here beginning with "The Landmark Forum" are simply brilliant. If it were up to me, every person on the planet would have to go through "The Curriculum for Living" which are, basically, the first 3 courses and an included seminar. I highly recommend these along with the previous two. They seem to go hand-in-hand as the teaching is centered differently and you'll get vastly different lessons from each group.
Of course, if you do online research and look for bad stuff, you'll find that these are all "cults for weak-minded people with no lives." The truth is that most people writing negative comments about any course of self-improvement are generally the ones who could not complete the courses because they faced their inner-demons for the first time and could not overcome them, so they ran away to momma and wrote bad things so they wouldn't have to face their failure.
This Friday I have an invitation to go to the graduation of "Moma Gena's School of Womanly Arts (Sister Goddess) MEN'S Night Graduation Evening." I have heard glowing stories about this school but I won't comment on it until I meet the women involved and judge for myself.
And I'm just scratching the surface here folks.
Film at eleven!
Spike
http://www.DeMistyfiedDating.com
Really, do men and women train each other correctly?
Do we fight fair?
Do we discuss openly and honestly without causing guilt and blame?
Do we stay in the present and look only to the future?
Do we always put the other person first, making them feel special and cared for?
Do we expect the best from our mate on not assume the worst?
Yeah, in a perfect world, we would.
I can remember having an online conversation with a woman on a dating site, perhaps 9 or 10 years ago. After several not-so-nice back-and-forths she exclaimed "you have been trained very poorly by the women in your life."
I never forgot that statement and have been researching, workshop-ing, seminar-ing, and men's-group-ing ever since.
Y'see we're taught only the most rudimentary skills in school, and (these days) even if you are lucky enough to be in a 2 parent household (I was not one of the lucky ones) the social skills that our grandparents innately knew, just don't seem to be present anymore.
Tony and I have interviewed thousands of men and women between us, coached programs, ran the Dating DeMistyfied Workshop, and basically we're both still clueless!
Okay, so maybe not clueless. We know what most women "say" that they want and we know that what they want can change in a heartbeat.
We also know that most men are visual first, but that a killer personality and a great sense of humor will suck us in almost as well.
Hey, who doesn't wanna laugh, right?
We know that almost everyone, men and women alike, want to feel loved, safe, cared for, and want to be able to love deeply and fully knowing that their partner has their back, no matter what comes down the pike.
So what's the answer?
Where do you go to actually learn how to listen, how to engage without battle, how to love and be loved and how to become a supportive partner who brings value to any relationship?
I'm glad you asked me that!
There are many places both men and women can go to receive support in becoming amazing human beings and partners.
First, for men there is MDI (Mens Division International) "Causing greatness by mentoring men to live their lives with excellence as mature masculine leaders who create great families, careers, and communities. We are unconditionally committed to men winning." (www.mdisuccess.com). This organization, the concepts taught on the men's teams, and the hundreds of men I now call brothers, have shifted who I am, and literally saved my life.
For women there is The Family of Women. "We lead, inspire and mentor women to embrace their power, purpose and value, and to take responsibility for their relationships. We empower women to live the lives they love, igniting their passion to make a positive contribution in the world." (http://familyofwomen.org/) I have met many of the women in this organization and I can only say that they are all outstanding human beings.
Both organizations were birthed, and grew out of the concepts taught by Justin Sterling who runs a women's weekend and a men's weekend and has been doing so for a very, very, very long time. (http://www.sterling-institute.com/) Although I don't personally agree with every concept Justin teaches, he is spot-on with most everything else. The man is a wizard!
For both men and women there is of course Landmark Education where amongst other things you learn that "there and many things that you don't know that you don't know." (http://www.landmarkeducation.com/) The courses taught here beginning with "The Landmark Forum" are simply brilliant. If it were up to me, every person on the planet would have to go through "The Curriculum for Living" which are, basically, the first 3 courses and an included seminar. I highly recommend these along with the previous two. They seem to go hand-in-hand as the teaching is centered differently and you'll get vastly different lessons from each group.
Of course, if you do online research and look for bad stuff, you'll find that these are all "cults for weak-minded people with no lives." The truth is that most people writing negative comments about any course of self-improvement are generally the ones who could not complete the courses because they faced their inner-demons for the first time and could not overcome them, so they ran away to momma and wrote bad things so they wouldn't have to face their failure.
This Friday I have an invitation to go to the graduation of "Moma Gena's School of Womanly Arts (Sister Goddess) MEN'S Night Graduation Evening." I have heard glowing stories about this school but I won't comment on it until I meet the women involved and judge for myself.
And I'm just scratching the surface here folks.
Film at eleven!
Spike
http://www.DeMistyfiedDating.com
Saturday, June 11, 2011
It's all in the Grand Design
The Universe stepped into my life at exactly 3:49 A.M. on Thursday, June 10, 2011. I was in a rut, the excitement had gone out of my life, I was becoming argumentative, hated my part-time consulting position, wanted to break up with my girlfriend, wasn't running my business with any passion and nearly lost my biggest client.
If you read the previous blog (kinda really need to before you can understand this one) you can kinda take it from there, but here's the rub because that 'ol Universe wasn't done with me yet!
One of the main reasons I wanted to break-up with my g/f was that she creates scenarios that don't exist, reacts to those non-existent scenarios negatively (usually hiding out for weeks at a time) and then blames me.
So of course, being a dumb-ass, the first person I sent that blog to was her, in the belief that she'd get a great laugh from the humor and irony.
Well did she?
No. not even close.
She wrote the following text to me "I do not want to talk to you, do NOT call! The blog was the end." (at which point I responded "you are so silly" and she) "Enough is enough, your blog is so f'ed up! I am so hurt. Very disrespectful..."
So what's a boy supposed to do? I mean I write a blog about a golden retriever, and my over-reacting g/f reads only the first half, freaks out, and breaks up with me.
My amazing, old-soul 16 year old son (who really dislikes my g/f) and his 17 year old g/f (who I adore, she is so good for him!) read the blog and loved it. When I told them what her response was they both replied (in unison) "she did you a favor."
And I believe they are correct.
Had she not mistakenly (?) woken me up I would not have
1) started running again, which I forgot how much I loved,
2) resumed blogging again, which I REALLY adore, and
3) put me in the position to find a fabulous life partner who can appreciate who I am, who I have been, and who I am becoming.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
One slightly used boyfriend, back on the market.
Film at eleven...
Spike
http://www.DeMistyfiedDating.com
If you read the previous blog (kinda really need to before you can understand this one) you can kinda take it from there, but here's the rub because that 'ol Universe wasn't done with me yet!
One of the main reasons I wanted to break-up with my g/f was that she creates scenarios that don't exist, reacts to those non-existent scenarios negatively (usually hiding out for weeks at a time) and then blames me.
So of course, being a dumb-ass, the first person I sent that blog to was her, in the belief that she'd get a great laugh from the humor and irony.
Well did she?
No. not even close.
She wrote the following text to me "I do not want to talk to you, do NOT call! The blog was the end." (at which point I responded "you are so silly" and she) "Enough is enough, your blog is so f'ed up! I am so hurt. Very disrespectful..."
So what's a boy supposed to do? I mean I write a blog about a golden retriever, and my over-reacting g/f reads only the first half, freaks out, and breaks up with me.
My amazing, old-soul 16 year old son (who really dislikes my g/f) and his 17 year old g/f (who I adore, she is so good for him!) read the blog and loved it. When I told them what her response was they both replied (in unison) "she did you a favor."
And I believe they are correct.
Had she not mistakenly (?) woken me up I would not have
1) started running again, which I forgot how much I loved,
2) resumed blogging again, which I REALLY adore, and
3) put me in the position to find a fabulous life partner who can appreciate who I am, who I have been, and who I am becoming.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
One slightly used boyfriend, back on the market.
Film at eleven...
Spike
http://www.DeMistyfiedDating.com
Friday, June 10, 2011
One Slightly Used Boyfriend, Blog- Faith
One Slightly Used Boyfriend, Blog!
It was a rough night. I tossed and turned and just could not get the day out of my head. The “chattering monkeys” were keeping me awake and my lion was having a tough time chasing them away.
And then my phone rang at 3:47 AM. I recognized the number and grudgingly answered; no-one was there. I guess she changed her mind?
Now I was awake. I grabbed some water, washed my face, attempted to lie back down, but the birds were singing as, somehow, even at that early hour the first rays of morning were peeking above the horizon.
“It’s too early for daytime” I thought to myself. Now just past 4:30 AM I decided to watch a little TV news to see if somehow the earth had shifted on its axis causing daylight to be at my windows way too early.
Nope, everything seems normal on the news, same old same old. So at 5:30 I made a decision that I was in a rut and the universe was tired of listening to me bitch and that I needed to get outside and do a workout and my first run since I damaged my knee 3 years ago.
I grabbed a towel and my keys and left. The sun was warm, the air was cool, and the aroma of honeysuckle was overwhelmingly delicious after last night’s storm.
I had a great workout in Seton Park and only had to contend with one other early runner jogging around the astro-turf baseball field with me.
After an hour I had had it and decided to do a meditation in one of the dugouts. The sun however was lovingly peeking out from behind Whitehall and so I hoofed it on over to shortstop, laid my towel down to keep my butt semi-dry, and got into my best lotus position with the sun drenching my face and body.
A thought had slightly crossed my mind as I sat down, something like “I hope another runner doesn’t decide to run the bases like I do, full speed, head down, and not see me and crash!
I dismissed it as silly.
The sun was incredible. It was nirvana. It was bliss. It was amazing.
And then it happened.
Out of the corner of my eye and racing towards me at full boar was a young, gorgeous blond. She not only didn’t seem to be slowing down, she was in fact picking up speed, eyes directly focused on mine, making a beeline for my sitting position. Before I could react she bowled me over onto my back, my feet up in the air, kissed the entire right side of my face and lay down onto my chest.
I was conquered.
I was done.
I never had a chance.
Her name was Faith and her blond hair was all over me. I was at this point laughing so hard I could barely breathe. Didn’t she KNOW that I was attempting to meditate? Who was she to disturb me in this manner?
Well, at this point another blond, this one much older came running towards me with apologies on her lips!
“I’m so sorry” she uttered, “When she saw you on the ground, well, that’s how she plays with my son!”
I told her that no apologies were necessary and that in fact, despite having a soaking wet back, a face dripping with slobber, and covered in blond hair, that Faith had made my day.
You see the Universe liked the fact that I got out of my way and outside where I belong, running, meditating, and back to being who I used to be.
And the Universe provided me with pay in the form of an 8 month-old, female Golden Retriever named Faith who thought I was her long-lost brother and treated me thus.
I never did get quite back into the meditation mode, I tried, but I was just too giddy and perhaps a bit skittish that Faith would find me, yet again!
I walked home, stopping 4 times to breathe deeply the honeysuckle outside my home, and thought to myself that I need to make sweeping changes in how I live my life. I’ll be making lots of phone calls today, I can tell you that!
Spike
http://www.DeMistyfiedDating.com
It was a rough night. I tossed and turned and just could not get the day out of my head. The “chattering monkeys” were keeping me awake and my lion was having a tough time chasing them away.
And then my phone rang at 3:47 AM. I recognized the number and grudgingly answered; no-one was there. I guess she changed her mind?
Now I was awake. I grabbed some water, washed my face, attempted to lie back down, but the birds were singing as, somehow, even at that early hour the first rays of morning were peeking above the horizon.
“It’s too early for daytime” I thought to myself. Now just past 4:30 AM I decided to watch a little TV news to see if somehow the earth had shifted on its axis causing daylight to be at my windows way too early.
Nope, everything seems normal on the news, same old same old. So at 5:30 I made a decision that I was in a rut and the universe was tired of listening to me bitch and that I needed to get outside and do a workout and my first run since I damaged my knee 3 years ago.
I grabbed a towel and my keys and left. The sun was warm, the air was cool, and the aroma of honeysuckle was overwhelmingly delicious after last night’s storm.
I had a great workout in Seton Park and only had to contend with one other early runner jogging around the astro-turf baseball field with me.
After an hour I had had it and decided to do a meditation in one of the dugouts. The sun however was lovingly peeking out from behind Whitehall and so I hoofed it on over to shortstop, laid my towel down to keep my butt semi-dry, and got into my best lotus position with the sun drenching my face and body.
A thought had slightly crossed my mind as I sat down, something like “I hope another runner doesn’t decide to run the bases like I do, full speed, head down, and not see me and crash!
I dismissed it as silly.
The sun was incredible. It was nirvana. It was bliss. It was amazing.
And then it happened.
Out of the corner of my eye and racing towards me at full boar was a young, gorgeous blond. She not only didn’t seem to be slowing down, she was in fact picking up speed, eyes directly focused on mine, making a beeline for my sitting position. Before I could react she bowled me over onto my back, my feet up in the air, kissed the entire right side of my face and lay down onto my chest.
I was conquered.
I was done.
I never had a chance.
Her name was Faith and her blond hair was all over me. I was at this point laughing so hard I could barely breathe. Didn’t she KNOW that I was attempting to meditate? Who was she to disturb me in this manner?
Well, at this point another blond, this one much older came running towards me with apologies on her lips!
“I’m so sorry” she uttered, “When she saw you on the ground, well, that’s how she plays with my son!”
I told her that no apologies were necessary and that in fact, despite having a soaking wet back, a face dripping with slobber, and covered in blond hair, that Faith had made my day.
You see the Universe liked the fact that I got out of my way and outside where I belong, running, meditating, and back to being who I used to be.
And the Universe provided me with pay in the form of an 8 month-old, female Golden Retriever named Faith who thought I was her long-lost brother and treated me thus.
I never did get quite back into the meditation mode, I tried, but I was just too giddy and perhaps a bit skittish that Faith would find me, yet again!
I walked home, stopping 4 times to breathe deeply the honeysuckle outside my home, and thought to myself that I need to make sweeping changes in how I live my life. I’ll be making lots of phone calls today, I can tell you that!
Spike
http://www.DeMistyfiedDating.com
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Back for the Attack:
Well it's been a year since I've blogger-ed and in this universe that is a cardinal sin! I have no excuse, really, but I would like to share some of what I've learned.
I've learned that women want their men to be men, not metrosexuals.
I've learned that women can make a life-altering decision, and then change their mind 30 seconds later.
I've learned that women more easily accept the faults of their man, than men accept the faults of their woman.
I've learned that women can become extremely emotional over tiny things (yeah guys, we do it too) and that if you just listen, quietly, without judging or giving advice or even engaging in any way, that often that is enough.
I learned that jumping to conclusions is like jumping off a cliff.
I've learned that there is nothing more important than honest communication, with a sweet dose of bullshit thrown in.
I've learned that sometimes there is just no pleasing some people.
I've learned that I can't be all things to everyone.
I've learned that I can't deeply love anyone until I first deeply love myself.
I've learned that procrastination is the great killer of everything.
I've learned that sharing our innermost feelings with our lover is often a huge mistake, or the best move we could make (timing is everything!).
I am learning to be honest with myself.
I am learning that we have to work at love, be patient with love, and nurture love. And that when we have hurt someone with our words, there may not be any recovery, even with time.
I am learning.
Sometimes it hurts to learn.
This way we know, by our growing pains, that we are still alive.
Oz
I've learned that women want their men to be men, not metrosexuals.
I've learned that women can make a life-altering decision, and then change their mind 30 seconds later.
I've learned that women more easily accept the faults of their man, than men accept the faults of their woman.
I've learned that women can become extremely emotional over tiny things (yeah guys, we do it too) and that if you just listen, quietly, without judging or giving advice or even engaging in any way, that often that is enough.
I learned that jumping to conclusions is like jumping off a cliff.
I've learned that there is nothing more important than honest communication, with a sweet dose of bullshit thrown in.
I've learned that sometimes there is just no pleasing some people.
I've learned that I can't be all things to everyone.
I've learned that I can't deeply love anyone until I first deeply love myself.
I've learned that procrastination is the great killer of everything.
I've learned that sharing our innermost feelings with our lover is often a huge mistake, or the best move we could make (timing is everything!).
I am learning to be honest with myself.
I am learning that we have to work at love, be patient with love, and nurture love. And that when we have hurt someone with our words, there may not be any recovery, even with time.
I am learning.
Sometimes it hurts to learn.
This way we know, by our growing pains, that we are still alive.
Oz
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