Geez, can you think before you share THAT with me?

I recently put the finishing touches on my ebook entitled "101 Free Online Dating Tips." Now the title will have to be changed since my staff has decided to make it available for eBay and Kindle, and only free on the DD site. Anyway, after reading all of my tips I realized that I've broken nearly all of them at some point over the past 10 years!

So I decided to examine under a microscope my past 2 dates, one last Friday evening and one yesterday with 2 very different types of women. I am not going into detail of the dates, just the multitude of mistakes, screw-ups, and innocent idiocy that the 3 of us heaped on each other.
So here are some of the things we did that you should NEVER do on a date, and more than likely not in a relationship, at least not until way down the road!

1) Never discuss your ex'es. This should be obvious to everyone. No woman (or man) wants to hear about all the other women (or men!) that you dated, even if the stories are positive ones. Concentrate on the person sitting in front of you, now, and forget that all the others even exist, for now!

2) If you have some cosmetic challenges (these women shared the following things about themselves; "my teeth need to be fixed," "I have no ass," "my hair normally looks worse than this," "I don't need to stand up straight for the photo because there's nothing there to pop out for the camera") you don't need to mention it to the guy (or girl). We kinda see it anyway but believe it or not it may not be as important to us as you may think. Allow us to discover how wonderful you are inside, before sharing all the things you feel are not wonderful on the outside.

3) I don't need to hear about all of your recent surgeries, how your son attempted to kill you with a knife, that if I grab your left arm you may attack me in response, or a multitude of other lovely first-date factoids. Relax folks. Sit back and be silly, funny, adorable, and perhaps (if the feelings warrant it) a bit affectionate. Everyone loves a hug and if you run into someone who does NOT, don't be surprised at the lack of future affection you get from them if it does (unfortunately) turn into a relationship.

Now don't get me wrong here, there were many wonderful things that happened on both dates including yesterday's date who came with 3 of her 4 sons to a huge outdoor-fundraiser I was attending for homeless children (www.walkforycs.org). Her kids were great and we all got along sweetly. Her youngest (11) spent a lot of time with me and is a great kid! Not your "normal" first date, but hey, what IS normal these days? We had FUN!

Sooooo, I guess I'm just babbling at this point. Just be kind to each other people, and fer cripes sake THINK before you open your mouth and put your foot into it!

Spike
http://www.DeMistyfiedDating.com

Be silly!

Nothing gets the job done quite like a great sense of humor.

I mean, really folks, would you rather be on a first date with someone who made you chuckle, giggle, and laugh, or with someone who was as dry as Melba toast (gag) or that cheap bottle of white wine that a guest brought to your last byo (bring your own) party?

Laughter has always been a fast-lane highway to my heart. Make me laugh, regularly and deeply and I sure as hell will want to be around you often, and for extended periods of time.

Laughter is easy for me to elicit as I’m a bit of a wise-ass anyway. I love to see someone giggle that I just made fun of or told a stupid joke to. Oh yeah, and by the way, most, if not all people seem much more attractive when they are smiling, than when they are frowning, judging, going on endlessly about their ex (another long tip) or stuffing their face with the buffet shrimp (never a good idea).

So the next time you’re across the coffee table with a less than exciting date, be the one that makes them laugh first, and sit back and observe if a flame begins to flicker in their eyes, as well as a chuckle in their belly.

And by the way, just in case you are generally the “serious one” it might be a good idea to hit the local bookstore or library for a tome on jokes, comedy writing, improvisation, or just a humorous book that ignites conversation.

Hey, at worst you’ll make yourself laugh, and that’s always a great place to start!

Laters!

Spike

P.S. What’s the funniest date that you’ve ever been on?
What does laughter do for you?
What do you do to make people laugh, and why?
Would you prefer to make someone laugh, or have someone elicit it in you?
What’s the funniest joke you’ve ever heard?

Why be in a short term relationship and why is that good?

Because they’re fun, romantic, exciting and amazing!

Duh!

However, if you ask 100 people why they are in a short term relationship, you’ll probably get 100 different answers. Generally, you’ll find the answers fall into a few categories:

1) “I don’t want to commit to anyone right now”
2) “I don’t see anyone that’s right for me”
3) “I can’t seem to get anyone to be that interested in me” or
4) “I’m not good at Long Term Relationships

Most people know what they don’t want but not what they do want. They know they don’t want to get hurt. They know they don’t want to make mistakes. They know they don’t want anyone who doesn’t “qualify”.

This mindset is a recipe for failure. How can you get what you want if you don’t know what you want? If you don’t ask, you don’t get.

To answer the question, you and your partner get to be fun, romantic, exciting and amazing with each other. It’s an opportunity to practice Long Term Relationship skills. But the best reason to be in a Short Term Relationship is it gives you an opportunity to be fully present with another person. When you are fully present, “Defining Moments” sometimes happen, creating memories that last forever.

Let your Short Term Relationship take you where it wants to go and you’ll enjoy your trip for however long it lasts. Take the time to “smell the roses” You’ll find that the true joy of life is the journey - not the destination.

Tony

A buck to pee please

So I'm hanging with my buddy Marc who owns Body Vision (runs a kick-ass bootcamp in Central Park) and we're just talking about women in general and some of the, um, errrr....well, scams we've pulled and gotten away with (don't hate me please!) down through the years.

So I was relating a time about four years ago when I had just finished a book signing for InterKnot (the book I wrote on Internet dating, but you already knew that, right?) and a bunch of the guests asked me to join them at a local watering hole, a very crowded one at that.

Now for some reason I had decided to dress all in black that evening, definitely not my standard modus oporendi (I know I must have spelled that wrong!) and sorta looked like a server at a catered function, or at least restaurant staff. Hey, I hadn't intended on dating or anything of the sort, so I pulled out my "Metrosexual" card for the evening!

I had just exited the mens room and stopped just adjacent to the ladies room because the line for "the head" was in my way and I was being polite.
And suddenly this adorable and very drunk "twenty something" woman asked me "is there a charge?"
"Huh? A charge?" I thought to myself?
"Hmmmm, this could get interesting" I'm thinking!
I replied "yes, yes there is a charge, one dollar please." And she reached unassumingly into her pocket for the dollar, handed it to me and walked into the ladies room.
The next girl on line looked at me and said "You guys are charging to pee?"
I answered, "well, that's your prerogative, but the head is a buck and it all goes to the staff at the end of the night."
She handed me a dollar,
and then the next girl did,
and then the next, and another, until 5 women had handed me a buck and I had just had enough.
I figured it would be a good time to stop before the bouncer granted me a rapid exit to the door.

I hunted down four of the five women in the next hour, handed them back their dollar and here is the final tally (men, pay attention here!):

Three of the four took back their dollar, laughed until they nearly peed themselves, and THEY bought ME a drink for having the balls to pull off that scam, and for them actually falling for it.

And one refused to take back the dollar (she said it was money well spent) and asked me for my cell phone into which she inputted her phone number and email addy.

Balls, creativity, boldness, uniqueness, call it whatever you like, but guys, women LOVE these aspects in a man, and if you can get women to do things that they would not normally agree to, and then "fess up" that they were scammed, they will remember you forever!

You just might need to duck once in a while as an un-ordered drink may be rapidly approaching your face!

Hey, it's all good yo!

Spike