Thursday, July 9, 2009

Men Are Not Women!

Wuzzup, people?

This is Spike's partner, Tony.

I'm here to introduce myself and express myself here. I'm opinionated, intellectual, funny, been around the block a few times and hope you're entertained by whatever gets written here.

I usually edit my writing intensely but you're getting this raw. I'll do my best to eliminate typos but I ain't promising you that I will. :-)

Men and women are funny. They each get upset, confused, deflated, excited, unraveled and enchanted but not for the same reasons and not by the same things. What's funny to me is that both men and women are different, have always been different and always will be different - yet rather than look for why that is so and why that's good for us, we make them wrong because, "I wouldn't do things that way!"

For example, women love a man they can count on, yet lose interest if he's predictable. What's the difference? Men love having sex anytime they want but if a woman wants sex just as much or just as soon they look at her as a slut. Women want to be looked at by men as more than a set of boobs and ass but look at men for what they can do for them and how stable he is financially - like he's a wallet. Who's objectifying whom?

The funny thing is that men know they don't understand women and women know men don't understand women. Men have no problem with the fact that they don't understand women but women have a big problem with the fact that men don't understand them.

On the other hand, women don't understand men and men know women don't understand men but for the most part, men don't have a problem with this fact. What's funny is that women THINK they understand men because they can predict what a man will do. They'll be right just enough to think they understand him when the truth is that they don't understand him at all - why he does things.

So ladies, why is it a problem for you if a man doesn't understand you? Why is it so hard for you to get men to understand you? How hard are you working on helping him understand you? Why do you get mad when we don't remember things or multitask or do what you ask us to do or notice anyone else's boobs but yours or try to solve your problems or glaze over when you give us too much details or freeze when you start crying or say, "yes, dear" in order to get out of trouble or avoid you when you ask us, "Do you like this dress on me?" We don't have a problem when you say, "Can you carry this for me?" or ask us to kill a bug or "let" us pay your bills or let you give us a hard to during that time of the month or go shopping with you (well, some of us anyway), make faces when we scratch our "jewels" or have your "girls' night out"?

Men Are Not Women!

I say, your relationships with men will improve when you begin understanding us rather than complaining that we don't understand you.

Any women out there interested in understanding men?


Karen said...

Maybe I’m just lucky to know some really progressive women, but most of my girlfriends and I actually LIKE the differences that men bring to the table. Who wants a man who acts like a woman or vice versa? The problem is that we need to be honest about what we want and need. If a man needs space to just have some time alone or to hang with the guys, just say so. But be considerate and not dismissive. That works so much better than retreating into silence or being evasive. And women need to say what they need too instead of being clingy and insecure. We need to listen to each other. We aren’t all a bunch of one dimensional neanderthals and airheads...most of us can string a few words together to make a coherent sentence when we want too. It’s not that hard. Because the flip side is that relationships suffer from dishonesty, hiding and games. If we learn to get to the point about what we all REALLY think, we can spend more time having a good time with each other vs. being stressed out. Men: Please talk a little more without ducking, dodging and expecting women to read your minds. And women: Yes, we can stand to talk a little less without being melodramatic or killing a simple conversation expecting too many details. Let’s meet in the middle, so that dating can be fun again! :-)

Dating DeMistyfied said...


I think that I need to meet you and your progressive girlfriends!
Tony and I are forever interviewing both men and women to get better perspectives on mindset, chemistry, and all the myriad craziness that goes through our adorable little minds when it comes to these things.
And I agree with you when it comes to adoring the differences between men and women.
Speaking just for myself, and as a man who adores strong, confident women, I do love those moments when my girlfriend is just that soft, cuddly, girlie girl who needs my attention and strong arms around her, when she slips just a little and needs help.
Those are the times when a (smart) woman allows a man to just be a man, and allows herself to just be a girl again.

Ahhhhh, simple pleasures!


masterwordsmith said...

Hi there Spike and Tony,

Pleased to meet you. Thanks for visiting and joining my blog. I am truly pleased to read your writings because I share the same perspective! Many find me too radical and unconventional but I rather stand firm on my ground that men are not women than to conform to many women's expectations that they should marry someone like them!

So farm, I have not met anyone who has expressed the following opinion like you have so precisely:

The funny thing is that men know they don't understand women and women know men don't understand women. Men have no problem with the fact that they don't understand women but women have a big problem with the fact that men don't understand them.

Absolutely spot on!

For the first ten years of my marriage, I tried to make my spouse understand me and only saw the light when I realized that I had to understand him and that it had to be mutual rather than merely one-way! Today, I can safely say that I am happily married and have been together with my spouse for over 32 years (including courtship)!

We just have to give each other the space to be who we are and yet to love and and to respect each other despite the differences.

Alan and Barbara Pease do write a lot about this in a tongue-in-cheek fashion. Have you ever come across their books?

Sorry for this terribly long comment but I feel very at home with your thoughts and writings.

Take care and have a lovely week!