Saturday, August 1, 2009

Foo to Yoo, X rated too.

Hey all,

first, I apologize for being away for an entire week. Tony and I have been mad busy laying out the Dating Manifesto for our 2 day Dating DeMistyfied workshop that begins on September 12th and ends September 13th.
We are also proud to announce a joint partnership with Donnelle Adler of Lock and Key, New York. She runs some great singles events and we are thrilled to be working with her.

More on all this at a later date.

So I played a ton of tennis this week with my dad and my son and have been ignoring my guitar badly, so today I picked it up and just put it down a few secs ago after a bunch of hours.
There's one particular popular song by The Foo Fighters that I sing and play particularly well and as I was playing it a thought occurred to me.
Y'see the song in question has some very suggestive lyrics, and by simply changing a word here and there it becomes wayyyy more than suggestive! I'll come back to this...

So last weekend I was invited to an "erotic open mic" and decided to go at the last minute when a friend called to say he was going too.
I brought my book "InterKnot" with me as chapter ten is entirely X-rated, and signed up to do a reading from it.
The room was great, the crowd was amazing, the women were HOT, and I had a few more friends there than I had anticipated, one of whom also read a story from my book that was long, so he began it, ending at a "cliffhanger" and later that evening I finished it.
Only fair, can't leave the crowd hanging!

The next day while playing the previously mentioned song at home a thought came to me.
Instead of reading at the next open mic, I could perform this song with, um, slightly altered lyrics and everyone would love it!
So I'm sitting on my bed and fantasizing what the moment would look like when I finish the song and leave the stage.
It goes something like this:

I sling my guitar behing my back and take the one step down from the stage and the lights and begin to walk towards my seat, when I am stopped cold by a very attractive woman in a very nice dress.

She refuses to allow me passage.

She puts her left hand on my heart, smiles naughtily and says "I am going to kiss you now, and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it."
I smile in return, blushing slightly, and allow her access to my awaiting lips.
She slides her hands up my back, gently brushing aside the guitar and cranes her neck to accept my hungry mouth on hers.
She kisses me gently as I slide my left hand up her neck and behind her hairline, interlacing my fingers through her locks, and bringing my right hand to rest on her ample ass giving it a gentle tugg.
She exhales slightly and pulls my mouth closer as she explodes her tongue into my mouth.

My head is spinning but I can't let the crowd down now!

After what seems like an eternity she pulls away and we both become aware that everyone is clapping and yelling furiously at the show we have just put on.
She seems pleased but is not done with me yet as she takes my hand in hers and leads me gently but firmly into a side room behind curtains.
She says nothing as she drops to her knees, again with that wicked smile she has flashed at me before and gently slides my pants zipper down with her teeth.

I am totally freaking out.

This has never happened to me before, not like this, not with a total stranger and not with so many people just a few yards away!
She looks up at me, smiles again, and with both hands slides open my belt and pants allowing both to drop to the floor.


At this point I take off the guitar!

Fully erect, of course, she happily and greedily takes the head of my cock into her sweet mouth rolling my eyes deeply into their sockets.
Hoo boy...
She plays with me, licking and sucking just enough to make me mad with passion, but not enough to buckle my knees,

And then, after what seems like as very long time she stops,
winks at me,
and takes the full length of my manhood deep into her throat pumping furiously up and down my shaft again and again and again while swirling her hands arond my shaft and tickling my balls as I explode into the beautiful awaiting fullness of her adorable mouth.

Then my knees give out.

She laughs and begins to wipe some residue happily off her mouth as she attemps to depart.

I do not allow her to.

I smile.
I pick her up into my arms and place her sweet ass on a chair nearby.

Now it's my turn to hit my knees as I slowly, painfully raise her dress above her waist.
I wink as I lower her violet panties to the floor, yes, with my teeth.
She laughs, but not for long as I trace her inches from her ankle to her tummy with my mouth, my tongue, my lips and my fingers, stopping to tease her and then going in for a taste.
I wink again and give her the gift one one, long, slow, wet, hot lick directly up the middle of her very wet pussy.

She shudders.

She knows she is in trouble.

I kiss my way gently up to her neck and around the back as goosebumps rise on her arms. I remove her dress, her bra, and after teasing her breast by licking every part except her nipple, slowly engorge her right ariola with my mouth, playing down below with fingers only.
She seems pleased, but seems to want more.

I oblige.

I kiss and lick my way back down her adorable body arriving eventually at her central core.
I tease her horrifically bringing her closer and closer to orgasm each time as I swirl my tongue in concentric circles on the very spot her clitoris craves, on the spot all her past lovers seemed to have missed.

And then I stop,


and go in for the kill with my thumb deep in her pussy, my middle finger in her sweaty asshole, and my tongue swirling gently but firmly on the erection that her clit has provided for me.

She screams, long and loud as she comes into my awaiting mouth.

Now we both smile.

We get dressed and walk through the door together to yet another explosion of applause.

And finally she turns to me, winks one final time, kisses me gently thrusting a piece of paper in my hand and leaves,
without a word.

The paper says:

"To be continued, call me."

Oy vay.....


And listen folks, don't expect this naughty blog all the time. I just get motivated when I play my guitar well!


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